Long time, no blog...

Wow! I can't believe how long it has been since I updated this blog. Hmmm...something I need to rectify. I have some very exciting things to tell you about.

First, a little update on what has been going on in mine and Grace's life. We are learning more each day about God's faithfulness to us. Each trial that we face and each answer to prayer that we receive brings us that much closer to Christ. We are humbled by His care for us in EVERY aspect of our lives.

Some of you may already know our latest (and possibly greatest) answer to prayer, yet. Grace had something like an absent seizure almost a month ago. We went to the ER, where they decided to do a CT scan (to check for a tumor or bleed) and run some bloodwork (to check for any sources there). I cannot tell you the war in my mind as I laid my baby girl on that table for her scan. I had no idea if I would hear (for a second time) that one who I loved so dearly had a brain tumor. God had been preparing me through a variety of avenues to come to Him with open hands; however (as any parent who has been in a similar situation would say), the pain was no less. Twenty minutes later, the doctor came in and said everything looked fine in the scan. No sign of tumors. I sobbed. God was, yet again, so merciful to us.

We followed up the ER visit with a trip to the pediatric neurologist here in Raleigh. After talking with us, she decided to schedule Grace for an EEG, a test that monitors brain waves to look for any unusual electrical activity. This was a test they had performed multiple times on Mike, and was most definitely not something I wanted Grace to experience. I was so proud of the little curly girl as she did everything the doctors asked of her without complaining (so much like her Daddy!). The doctors said they’d let us know the results in a week or two.

The next day when I saw the neurologist’s number on my phone, I knew the test results were abnormal. The nurse confirmed that suspicion when I answered. We went in the next day and learned that Grace has two “abnormal” places on the right side of her brain, making her have a tendency for seizures. The doctor decided to do an MRI to check for any small tumors that would not have shown up on the CT or an area of “trapped cells” that might send out their own random electrical impulses and would cause a seizure. We were back in all-too-familiar territory.

I was consistently humbled throughout this process, constantly in need of God’s sustenance through every moment of each day. I had to bow my will to His sovereign wisdom when I thought I could not take one more second. Grace was His. I was His. He was all-wise, completely sovereign, perfectly loving, and all that I needed. Verses that I had recently learned continually flooded through my mind.

Grace would have to be sedated for the MRI, another concern that we had to place back on Christ’s shoulders. Since she had never been sedated before, I was completely unsure of her reaction to it or if she had any unknown allergies that would appear. Mercifully, God allowed Grace to respond well to the sedation, using only half of the allowed amount.

The MRI was probably the climax of my struggles. While Grace slept peacefully through the entire test, I fought back wave after wave of memories of Mike’s sickness that I usually stored away, only this time, the sadness of Grace’s struggle added a new dimension to each one. I doubted my ability to make it through. I doubted my ability to handle the outcome. But God, who is RICH in mercy, supplied the strength I needed. I can honestly tell you that there was no strength left in me. I could in no way have persevered on my own. The scars were too deep, too fresh. The pain was too much. But God. But God supplied every need according to His riches in glory.

The results were to come in the next day, and I asked my friend, Donna, to call the doctors for me. I knew there would need to be a lot of questions answered if it were bad news, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to think clearly enough. I will never, as long as I live, forget the sound of her voice when she called me and said through her own tears, “She’s perfectly normal. The MRI was completely clear.”

God was merciful to us in a way that was overwhelming and humbling. I shook, and cried, and thought, “Why us, God? Why would you choose to extend your mercy in such a mighty way to us?” I knew there was nothing in me that deserved His kindness, but because of Who He is, He lavished His kindness and mercy on us.

While I am as confident of His comfort as His mercy, I was thankful that the MRI showed exactly what I hoped for—nothing. God is good and does good. Every good gift comes from Him—including a day like today when nothing special is going on. That is a good gift to be thankful for. I am humbled that He allows me to see His lovingkindness each day.

So much for a short update on Grace and me.... You now know the vital lessons we are learning about God’s character, which is pretty much the most important thing going on in our lives. Thankfully, I have saved a very exciting and very interesting post for my next one or this blog could get very anticlimactic, very quickly. It’s something that I need all of your help with. I think you’ll be very excited as well…Have I piqued your curiosity yet???